As a writer, I only have 40 or so years of life experience. I’m not sure if this is enough to quialify or if it is too little. It is enough maybe to tell you where I personally have and havn’t made mistakes, and hopefully you as an individual, can glean it.

In early life, i did not give regularly to charity, really, not even until a few years ago, and because problems, I have a tough time doing so. It is one of my biggest personal failure points, and one that gives thr biggest emotional and future rewards. The future reward is obvious, a possibility of eternal life, and a possibility of return on investment of 100x, Matt 19:19. The emotional rewards in the here and now are really good too. I felt great because I was doing what was right. Hopefully this is something you will experience. Additionally, it is taught, those who do good, will have good done unto them, and it is worth it to be remembered by Ahih Yhvh for doing good, even if you aren’t personally very religious. There are benefits, as far as I can tell the basic concept of karma is taught by Ahih Yhvh, and Ihsous, though not in the detail pattern or way the easterners teach it. It is definitely a known thing worldwide, if we do good, good things happen, maybe not right away, but eventually, and if we do evil, bad things happen, usually the punishment is swift.

“Behold, God will not cast away a perfect man, neither will he help the evil doers:” (Job 8:20, KJV)

“Evil pursueth sinners: but to the righteous good shall be repayed.” (Proverbs 13:21, KJV)

“Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore. For the LORD loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.” (Psalms 37:27-28, KJV)

“For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:14, KJV)

My advice is this. Follow this principle, it will keep most of the disgruntled thoughts from your mind, or worries of your gift just getting wasted. An orphan child in my opinion, is the person who is the most likely for the gift to make the biggest impact with, they are the next generation. Secondly the widow, who serve the church her whole life. Everbody else after this. No use wasting money on drunks, drug users, and lazy hypocrits.

“Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” (James 1:27, KJV)

We want our charity to have benefit. It is good for the mind to know you have done good. It helps fight depression, and anxiety, and to some extent fear, simply because you aren’t as worried about the hereafter. I personally suggest starting at a 12% of your income, so you can learn to love giving, and know that you are at least a little better than the scribes and pharasees. The next step I would try matching is the Centurions portion at 20%. It gets harder after this because of funding, so maybe do some advertising for your favorite charity, or religious group, and only do more when it is possible or if you want to give. Do not give if you hate doing it, it is the wrong attitude, it is ok to struggle with yourself, its normal for anyone who has to manage finances, but training yourself to love giving is a necessary part of charity, and takes a while to adapt to. Ahih Yhvh loves the cheerful giver.

Second, keep it in your pants. Don’t go whoring around. I am lucky not to have made this mistake, and am happy i havn’t, a failed mairrage is bad enough. The biggest problems with this is permanent mental scars reducing trust in your parteners, and children, Sexual Diseases are problems, but not as major, some can be cured.

It has been studied by modern doctors, that for every out of wedlock relation a woman has, there is a permanent drop in ability to trust all men. That is a big permanent problematic change in they way a person thinks. This doesn’t even account for the possibly ruined mother – child relationship because of not wanting it, or the usual poorness related to not having support, though in the United States that is more than taken care of.

For a man, the problem is different, yes it causes trust issues, those havn’t been studied as much, the disease issue is lesser, and the biggest problem is father to child and man to woman emotional connections. When a man has sex and has nothing else to do with the woman and child, or when the man is driven away from the woman, it causes mental problems for possibly all 3. The biggest problem for the man is a permanent change in empathy, going from trying to learn and care for anothers feeling, to always needing to control his feelings because of anger, sadness, regret, etc., or think he shouldn’t care. This causes frequent mental disorders. There is also the loss of ability to support oneself, due to having to pay for child upbringing. Lastly is hate for your own child and the woman.

In the proper context of a wedded couple, making babies is great fun, totally worth it, and beneficial to everyone. Personally even though I am in a failed mairrage, I would be willing to do it all over, even knowing it might be a disaster. Children are a big part of life fulfillment, good food, laying with a person who makes your whole body relax. It is all worth it. Especially the spousal respect for a husband, and love for the wife. This are 100% necessary, for marital relations. If those are lacking, or you can anticipate it being a problem, I suggest getting out before you make a commitment, it is not worth getting into a relationship you think might fail, or taking your vows with doubts.

Third. This comes from my exposure to Jews. Do not settle for entertainment and hobbies that are cheap. Find joy in making things, or self help books, journal your wants and desires and plans. Build beneficial hobbies, and habits. I personally chose video games and book reading, for the cheapness. I can tell you from personal experience, it was not a good choice, it wasn’t a terrible one either. It kept me out of some trouble, and got me into others. The biggest problem though is the waste of time. Don’t do things that waste time. We only have 1 life to live.

Doing simple things like foraging and canning food, or learning a computer language, or learning a real language, learning how to cook, or garden, or draw, or paint, or jewelry making, or taking college classes just for entertainment value, and self improvement. These things may have an intitial cost, but those are usually low. The difference is the life time of benefit you reap afterwards. It is not small.

A simple thing like canning food, can become a business, or tinkering with small engines can become a job if necessary. These are things that fill the gaps in life when bad things happen.

Fourth. Do not try to depend on yourself for everything. Find family, friends, or aquaintences to help you. Humans are social creatures, and we need human interaction to flourish. This is a lesson, I only recently learned in life, it was a hard lesson. I had read and studied this as a young man but it never stuck, even constant reminders from friends and family didn’t stick, I was too mentally independant and trusted my own ability too much. 1 person cannot be everything and provide everything they need in life for themselves and be comfortable. You need to find a good social support group, and surround yourself with good trustable folks.

“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, KJV)

“The LORD will not suffer the soul of the righteous to famish: but he casteth away the substance of the wicked. He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.” (Proverbs 10:3-4, KJV